its 8 am on a sunday morning... and i should be sleeping. but i just had one of those " i need to put this on xanga" thoughts.. ever get one of those? well .. i do.
so.. i was reading one of my friend's xangas the other day. and she wrote about her uncle who recently passed away. how she missed him and how she needed him. she went on and on with what she needed. on and on about what she wanted. the whole entry was based on what was best for her. i have a question.. did you ever stop to think what was best for HIM?
So take a moment to do that. Take a moment to put yourself in his position. No one wants to die. Everyone would LOVE to live forever. you know? but its part of life. Its often been said that death is not the last stage of ones life. Theres eternal life after it. where theres no need for taking any medicine because there are no sicknesses. Where pain is never felt and time has never existed.. Its what many like to call, heaven.
It was hard for me to accept the loss of my own dad. It was, without doubt, the biggest obstacle that God has given me. One day hes healthy, full of life. and as an effect of a mere household accident- hes gone, within the blink of an eye. at the age 14, i never saw the day of going casket shopping for my dad. nor did he.
what im trying to say is that the length of our lives are uncontrollable. Some live to be 101 years old and others cant even make it out of their mother's tummy. We ALL dont know. and as human beings, we often take for granted the presence of another. And when they're gone, we cry like crazy because we regret not spending more time with them. and we blind ourselves at the bigger picture. that they now dont feel no pain or sadness. we dont grieve for them, we grieve for US, those who are left on earth. because face it, we are all selfish in our own ways.
When my dad died. all i thought about was "what was going to happen to me?" or "who's going to pick me up after school or help me with my math homework?" all i thought about was MYSELF.. then when i started to realize it... i started to think "what would have happened if he DID survive? would he be bedriddened?" and "is this what he really wanted? did he not want to feel pain anymore?"
it was easier said than done. it took a good long 2 years to realize that this was what he needed. and this was what everyone was going to go through. whether we like it or not... its part of life. and one day... ill hopefully see him where most people like to call heaven.
So next time, when anyone feels like the world is going to crumble down on them because they've lost someone, a tid bit of ADVICE.
try putting your own needs aside and focus more on the needs of others. when you could do this... you'll know that you truly love that person.
and as for you.... you'll make it through........ because. "GOD NEVER GIVES YOU ANYTHING THAT YOU CANT HANDLE" and im living proof of that. | 
if (!cha
"all my dreams came true... my first night with you."-mya. 
thanks you guys for a wonderful birthday. i got stuffed with so much food.. the 2 bootylicious brownies. and the crema. thanks jacobe. well yeah. the best thing though? the call from mike... simply saying "happy birthday" and that he loved me. awwwwwwwwwwww. i love you too hun.
Daddys death anniversary. we only invited the familia. but hella came.... so yeah. a while back.
justins baptism... @ arlyns house. we played SPOONs.. and arlyn got sick from italian dressing.
san diego.. Lolo Tomas funeral. yeah. we wanted to watch passion. but everything was sold out... lol. its cool. we still had fun...
so there you go. now i gotta talk to mike. my 2 minutes are up. lol take cares. love you hun. bye